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Jenna Dewan is ready to fully talk about what she went through when she and Channing Tatum separated back in April of last year. In her new book Gracefully You: Finding Beauty and Balance in the Everyday, Dewan wrote about the full process of her heartbreak. Namely, that she found out that her ex-husband was dating someone new online at the same time that it went public.
“I was learning things about my ex most people wouldn’t have to face–and over the internet, as it was happening,” she wrote, via E!. “There I was, on a plane, alone, finding out about his new relationship. I felt blindsided. Choosing grace as I learned everything about my personal situation along with the rest of the world was really difficult.”
“It was quite a challenge to remain graceful; to say the least. That’s when your real character comes out,” she continued. “Instead of reacting the way I wanted to…I asked myself this: How do I choose grace in this moment? Had I not been practicing this way of life beforehand, I definitely wouldn’t have handled this news very gracefully.”
Tatum was reported to be dating Jessie J last October. He and Dewan announced their separation in April 2018 (and Dewan suggested in the book they privately separated that January). Dewan has since moved on and is dating Steve Kazee. They’re expecting their first child together.
But she detailed in her book what the first days of that breakup were like. “[Divorce] was never on my docket of dreams, but alas, here I am, learning and growing through one,” she started. “In the beginning I turned to the typical remedies. I drank a whole lot of wine with friends. I had many moments of deep, painful, big cries. And both were very necessary in getting me to the next hour, through the day, on to another week.”
“In the beginning of my separation, it felt as though I were in a dark closet, desperately trying to find the light or the way out,” she added. “I was in a state of shock. One week I’d be doing really well and the next I was slammed with a whole new slew of emotions. The rumor mill was churning out story after story. There were many times I hid under the covers, wondering what was next. The pain hit me like a tumbling avalanche. I was completely overcome with fear and sadness. It took many moments of sitting alone with my grief to force me into surrendering to my roller coaster of a situation.”
“The separation tested me in ways I hadn’t thought possible,” she finished. “I started to wonder if everything I believed in and always talked about was real. Could anyone or anything ever be trusted?”
Ultimately, Dewan came out of her “grief tunnel” and met Kazee. She talked to People about how it just worked between them. “I had kind of come to terms with, ‘Okay, I need to accept that I need to start a new life,’” she said. “I had no idea what I was looking for, and I was not at all looking for any kind of relationship. It was nothing I was looking for, but it was everything I needed, if that makes sense.”